I did a 16.3k walk/run this past Sunday. It was bad. It was that bad run that you have that makes you question what you're doing. I just got the email from my half clinic leader, and next week is the start of the taper. My confidence is gone. While I know somewhere in my head that I didn't lose all my fitness by skipping last week's runs, I'm not confident in the ability to keep up this week. My clinic is ahead of me. But, they are running a half marathon on the 22nd. I'm running a 17k race on the 28th. So, I have time.
This week, I'll run my 6k tempo tonight. I have my stuff to run home from work, but may choose to go home first and run it on a relatively flat road instead of the hilly run home, and without a backpack, to get the confidence back up. Tomorrow I have 3*1 mile repeats. My clinic is doing 1km repeats instead, so I think I'll join them for the motivation. Then it's a 8k "easy" run Thursday night, which is always run a bit too fast with my clinic. I'm just going to pray I can keep up with them. Sunday, I won't run the 20km with them. I'll run with my friend who is visiting from Toronto (yay!) for 10-12k and hopefully tack on a few more km after on my own. I should be back on track by the end of this week, and then I can do that 20km on my own the following weekend, just to feel better in my mind.
Breathe.... A week off, and a week of shortened runs on vacation doesn't ruin the efforts of January-mid April. I want to hit the mats on my race so badly. I can do it. I can do it. I WILL do it.